Time

Sitting...waiting, feeling as though 2 hundred lives are awaiting, breathing,depending on just 1 word that comes out of my mouth.
Sitting in a empty chair,just to find that in 1 second,1min. or even 1 hour your whole life that you worked so hard to accomplish could vanish in to the dark like nobody even saw it to begin with.
Sad not knowing what to do.How do you go on when your whole life has been taken from you? Its like being alive without air to breath.
You always have that one phrase in your mind repeating over and over again "what could i have done better for them to understand me".
How do you compete with that? It soon becomes your body, taking over your thoughts, so cold deep thoughts.
Sitting..waiting,feeling as though 2 hundred lives are awaiting,breathing,depending on just 1 word that comes out of you mouth.
How do you handle yourself when you get told things you don't want to hear, thing everyday, hurt,sad,angry! Everyday, gets old but it never stops hurting
Trying hard not to break down, your heart so torn that blood is just seeping into your lungs, I'm i dead yet?
Is that better that crying?
they say tears cleanse they body, but how can something so bad be so good for you?
You walk, acting like everything is Ok, but it is it really, nobody can see the scars, they are internal something that nobody can see, but you will always be able to feel.
That night arrives, you hurt so bad.all alone nobody there beside you, and your only comfort is that razor in you hand
As I lay there so cold,shaking,scared of what i just did. that thought moves through my mind one last time. "what could i have done better for them to understand me"