Understanding My Martyrdom

It’s getting harder everyday
To keep my tears at bay
Trying to force themselves out
I’m fighting a terrible bout
What do you have to say?

Doubting I will win
Feeling like a sin
Burying myself deeper
Never becoming happier

I want to scream
Something terribly mean
Maybe you will hear
May you will fear

Lying in my bed
I am feeling so dead
We have time for so many indecisions
And for a hundred revisions
Is any of this getting in your head?