The Pain of Moving On

"I don't even know what to say."
I think to myself as the records play.

I lost my way some time back,
Everything is wrong, it's way off track.

I love him to death didn't you know?
But things weren't right, so we both let go.

I don't move on I just distract my mind,
So I don't think of him, it happens all the time.

We've broken up before, but this time I knew.
That our love was so lost, too lost to rescue.

Endless fights morning and night.
Our jealous ways just out of sight.

His gentle touch is what I'll miss the most,
But people fall out of love, it's just life I suppose.

But I have to move on and find someone new.
Who will appreciate me, and the little things I do.

Someone who won't blame me for their bad day or night,
Someone who will pick me up when things arn't going right.

Someone who will hold my hand in front of all his friends,
Someone I can rely on to love me and defend.

I need someone who likes the way I am just because it's me,
Just a guy who goes out of his way, who can make me happy.

I had this guy for a while until he tried to control,
He stopped liking the way I was by then love took it's toll.

I know he loved me and god knows I loved him too,
But we both deserved better, and it hurts to say it's true.

Of course I date other guys searching for something new,
But he'll always be a part of me, a part I'll hold onto.

He was my first true love and I'm sure he won't be the last,
but his anger taught me how to let things go, to put them in the past.

We had good times that I don't regret at all,
But maybe I'll warn the next guy, remind him not to fall.

If he falls in love with me he might have to prove,
Prove he's not here to break my heart, or leave for someone new.

I guess it's true what they say about lessons learned in time,
I know I'll cry every now and then, but I'm sure that i'll be fine.

I'm not so much afraid to move, I'm just afraid to fall,
Or just scared that it'll take me years, or mabye find no one at all.

All I know is that love isn't all it's cracked up to be,
No one said that it'd hurt this bad, but now it's plain to see.

I want to love myself and never change by force,
I'll keep my heart locked up and play life's games and coarse.

Now and then it'll hurt but the guy who puts up with me,
Will have a piece of my heart that lays here inside me.

I'll show affection but the one I choose will know,
That he will always have my heart, and then I'll beg him not to go.