You Won

The past 3 months
Nearlly 4
I've lied to myself
Now I'm about to pour

These tears in my eyes
They're going to fall like rain
As I'm sitting here thinking
Of all the memories, then comes the pain

I don't want these memories anymore
I want those times to go away
I'm being haunted by them
For the very first time in so long, today

For the first time since that night
I can't close my eyes without seeing your face
I'm reading all these poems I wrote ages ago
I meant the words in so many ways

It's like I'm re living what happened
I haven't shed a tear since that night
I've been lying to myself and others
Since we had that fight

You meant so much to me
So much you couldn't possibly understand
I think I proved that more than once
Every time I held your hand

I understand if our friendship had to end
But it ended that night, or so it seemed
It hasn't ended for you
It ended that night for me

In one night you me through
So much hurt, so much pain
So many things
That we cannot undo

This time is not like the others
This time you have gone too far
You didn't just stab me in the back
But you hit me so hard, with what felt like an iron bar

When I think of you
When I hear your name
I feel sick in the stomach
I ripped that photo that was in the frame

Tonight I'm going in my room
Going to clean out my closet
All the memories I still remember
Are going out the door and out of my head

I'm looking out the window now
I can see 2 girls who live down the street
Playing and laughing and walking down
I smile as I'm thinking of you

A thought comes into my head
I've been hating and feeling anger
Whenever your name is mentioned
But I can't

I can't hate your anymore

[to my former close friend... please comment and rate. Ta xxx]