The ringing of my ears in this silent space
is like paranoia
driving my head insane.
Questions surrounding unconditional love has taken curiosity
and replaced it by pain.
Urging forces within my veins
want me to force my life
toward years beyond the past.
Demons of fear and shadows of evil whisper words of fury and rage in my heart.
A refusal to enter this adult ring
that causes people to slit their wrists
in despair.
But at the same time loosing the screams of my child
who seeks love and find
nothing there.
Taking acid showers
that hurt my skin but never ceases to remind me of life's powerful tranquility.
Excruciating madness
felt toward life's judges
who crushes good people with extraordinary ability.
Dazzling confusion that is wrapped under my skin
and tries to escape
through my tears and my sweat.
Evolving awareness that shatters my heart
as I realize
that your own beloveds
may be the threat.
Missing my days of escape into boxes
and joyous laughter in an innocent space.
I'm loving and I'm hating being part of this world
that is filled with
an unpredictable human race.
