Forever's Gone.

by ASPHYXIATED   Mar 24, 2007


Her scent still lingers after the bitter farewell,
She was his heaven, now he's destined for hell,
No beauty could replace her no one's so divine,
Shattered hearts is the punishment, Love was the crime.
Her touch still ambushes him night after night,
How was he to know it was their final fight,
He tried to say sorry but the wounds were too deep,
She tore back her shattered heart it wasn't to keep.

Her image still comes nightly when darkness falls,
He can still hear her weeping within the solid walls,
He writes her a a love letter... One every day,
His pen leaks his pain, The words he could never say.
A year has passed by and he's still holding on,
Swaying back and forward humming their old love song,
Wishing for a moment, Where she'd walk through the door,
Praying life's nightmare wouldn't last much more.

He mails her one final letter soaked in his tears,
His pen speaks his mind, releases his fears,
"I loved you more than you thought all along,
Denial wont fix a broken heart, I guess forever's gone."

Lisa Westlake :]

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    Such a strong ending!
    You always make such powerful endings.
    It brings the whole poem together. ;]
    Keep up the great work, babe.
    ily xxxx
    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Her a a = emit one of the a's

    forward = forth

    wont = won't

    The last line kind of ruined the poem for me. I really did enjoy the poem, but that last line just doesn't flow or really.... match with the beauty of the rest of the poem. Your word use was miraculous, and it was perfect. I love your vocabulary. I have to give you kudo's for originality, and your rhyming is just incredible.

    Very Well Written poem. Change the last line and get back to me... despit e the last line, this belongs on my favorites.

    5/5
    ~Stephen White

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Okay...I frikken LOVE this!
    Flow is flawless throughout the entire poem, imagery beautifully used, word choice a joy to read.
    The opening is very strong, it pulled me right in and from there on it just kept getting better and better.
    I particularly loved the ending, it was so elegantly written, moving and intense.

  • 17 years ago

    by Kristina

    Awww this is wonderful. i really enjoyed reading it. it flowed so nicely. you are a very talented writer. keep it up! 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    No matter how the diction cloakes it - it's still a cliche subject. But it was well written nevertheless. The flow was smooth and the story carried through fluently. I still have a few improvement suggestions though.

    On the very first line I think you meant "...still lingers..."
    After heaven on the second line (first stanza,) maybe consider a comma?
    Throughout the poem you used ellipsis points, I was thinking you could maybe drop those and replace them with a comma too.
    On the final line, of the final stanza (and title) shouldn't it be "forever's gone" to represent forever has gone?
    Good write, thanks for sharing.

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