Thats sad :( I love how you use so many differnt words..and describe the feelings so well. Really awesome work. Xx Chrissie

No matter how the diction cloakes it - it's still a cliche subject. But it was well written nevertheless. The flow was smooth and the story carried through fluently. I still have a few improvement suggestions though.

On the very first line I think you meant "...still lingers..."
After heaven on the second line (first stanza,) maybe consider a comma?
Throughout the poem you used ellipsis points, I was thinking you could maybe drop those and replace them with a comma too.
On the final line, of the final stanza (and title) shouldn't it be "forever's gone" to represent forever has gone?
Good write, thanks for sharing.

Awww this is wonderful. i really enjoyed reading it. it flowed so nicely. you are a very talented writer. keep it up! 5/5

~Kristina

Okay...I frikken LOVE this!
Flow is flawless throughout the entire poem, imagery beautifully used, word choice a joy to read.
The opening is very strong, it pulled me right in and from there on it just kept getting better and better.
I particularly loved the ending, it was so elegantly written, moving and intense.

Her a a = emit one of the a's

forward = forth

wont = won't

The last line kind of ruined the poem for me. I really did enjoy the poem, but that last line just doesn't flow or really.... match with the beauty of the rest of the poem. Your word use was miraculous, and it was perfect. I love your vocabulary. I have to give you kudo's for originality, and your rhyming is just incredible.

Very Well Written poem. Change the last line and get back to me... despit e the last line, this belongs on my favorites.

5/5
~Stephen White

Such a strong ending!
You always make such powerful endings.
It brings the whole poem together. ;]
Keep up the great work, babe.
ily xxxx
5/5