Pain

I thought the flow was off once or twice but not too much, so it didnt make a difference to me. the stanza that u repeated was a good choice since it shows thats what this poem is mostly about.

and i was just wondering was this stanza...

What did you want and see
the Egotistic Dream me
or the real caring me
the me i wanted you to see

suppose to be more like

What did you want to see?
The 'Egotistic Dream' me?
Or the 'Real Caring' me?
The me I wanted you to see.

but anyways...

good poem overall, you got ur message across. 5/5

I absolutely loved this poem.
Excellente' for your first poem on thsi site!
5.5
The repitition and flow was perrfect.
;)

Very nicely done. I really enjoyed reading this poem. I got the message loud and clear! It was really refreshing to read a simple poem. the only stanza that I think needs work is this one

What did you want and see
the Egotistic Dream me
or the real caring me
the me i wanted you to see

To me there's to many EE sounds in it but great job
xoxo kaila

Good poem! i really liked it.. awsome emotion.. keep writing!!! 5/5

Hey good poem, you have a good talent here so keep writing. take kare xxxxx