Treat others how you'd like to be treated if good,
Take pride in knowing you've done all that you could.
Don't know what you've got till it's gone in the end.
Be wise, take to heart, this message I send.

wat a powerful ending. this is the best poem of yours so far.

5/5 David

Great poem. Some of the rhymes seem a bit awquard but i probobly would have done it similarely. It lacks the emotion that makes a great poem excellent. Its a bit bland but your technique is awesome.

I like the message you bring with this piece Rachel. Well written and great sentiments. You have learned well....

Rachel
Great job on this write. I love the messages it sends.

With age and experience lessons are learned,
In the moral of the story knowledge is earned.
Some correlate wisdom to years spent in school,
Don't you know the older, the wiser's the rule ?

There is so much we can learn from others.
Excellent job!
I Love You Aunt Cindy

"Each day you gain wisdom, you learn something new.
Will practice make perfect in all that you do?"

I agree with Helen.
You do sound so much older and.. wiser.
This poem was so deep..
Well done!
5/5
*Gem*

Excellent message and great write.

Treat others how you'd like to be treated if good,
Take pride in knowing you've done all that you could.
Don't know what you've got till it's gone in the end.
Be wise, take to heart, this message I send.

How true.

Rachel, this was outstanding. I really like you put all of this into a poem. What a great message for everyone.
Great job.

A beautiful message conveyed in beautiful poetic rhyme. These are definitely words to live by and love the subject choice. Smiles Superb-
Dixie

With age and experience lessons are learned,
In the moral of the story knowledge is earned.

Each day you gain wisdom, you learn something new.
Will practice make perfect in all that you do?

i just loved the theme adn the way u expressed it, very good message indeed.

keep writing
all the best and take care

Wisdom with loving kindness....
mmmm good Rachael.....
very good.....

Ok.
Constructive critism. Here we go. [Take this as advice, not a hit. :] ]
```````````````
Don't you know the older, the wiser's the rule ?
[This doesn't really make sense to me . . . maybe:
"Don't you know the older you are the wise you rule" ? Eh. You can work with it.]

Cherish each day to the fullest, have fun, live it up,
See it half full when emptiness, appears in your cup.
[Two errors: ...live it up(;) {because those are two sentences, but the same thought, a comma is not strong enough, use a semi-colon.
And: ..emptiness () appears {no comma, it's a comma splice that way.]

If you have a positive attitude, it will carry you far,
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
[This here is your flow issue. 'far' and 'vinegar' do not rhyme . . . at least to me they don't. Some times people say words differently, but of what I know, there's only one way to say 'vinegar,' thus causing awkward break-in-the-rhyme-scheme flow.

When you have nothing nice, than nothing you say.
[[...nothing nice () than {no comma . . . I don't think. Check me on that one, but it doesn't feel correct to me.]

Don't know what you've got till it's gone in the end.
Be wise, take to heart, this message I send.
[A little awakard.
First, I'd say 'You don't know . .' sounds better, to me. It doesn't confuse.
Second, the second line is just awkwardly short, to me. Maybe it's just me.]

Anyways.
And that's one poem done. =/

Now, on the poem:
I REALLY liked it. This said a lot, and even though I nit-picked at it, those were only grammatical errors. This is well thought out and shows how smart you just may be. ;]
Don't be discouraged about the 4.4; it Definately deserves nothing less than a 4.9. =]

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

Awesome. i ain't lying, i prefer honesty above all else. it gets the brain going

Wow... this is a wonderful poem... its written beautifully... the flow is good.. off in a couple of places, the word choice is spectacular... the message is expressed with strength and really pulled me in... a very enjoyable read

Such a strong and powerful message you give. I hope that many take head and listen to what you have said. great job alerting others, especially the young.

--Sher

This is an uplifting rap lyric.....could be an anthem....good for you!

P.S....I just read some of the various rewrite ideas and I have to say.....Try this piece musically with a rap-style beat and ALL those ideas are superfluous....This is a very modern and, very accessable, delivery of timeless Truths.....

Hi, really enjoyed reading your writing, but true older and wiser rule and I only wished that I had parents to bring me up and teach me right from wrong,like in your poem on these lines. Did your parents do well with the values they taught?
Did they tell you friendship nor love can be bought? thanks for the great poem very nice.
5/5

Another poem well done but onm the line

"Cherish each day to the fullest, have fun, live it up," i stuttered through it, if feels uncompleted to me.

but by the next line i was back into the zone and everything flowed beautifully from there. good work

True

Ohhh. Myy!!
This was unbelivably outstanding!! I know one thing, that you will become a famous writer one day if you wish(: I added this poem to my favorites, if thats ok. I absolutly love it!

BRAVOOOO(: