Shades of Gray

I used to be so alive.
I used to laugh and smile and really mean it.
I used to live my life and love it.
Now that everything is so contrived,
I hate it.

I used to play in the sun.
I used to chase my dreams and savor the moment.
I used to want to succeed and go for it.
Now that everything is coming undone,
I despise it.

My world used to be so colorful.
So full of life and happiness.
I used to care about everything around me.
I used to catch a firefly and set it free,
But now that everything is so full of bitterness,
I deride it.

If life was a coloring book,
And you get to color the pages as you go,
Would you choose to color it any different,
And escape the one you know?
You could paint the walls red,
Be angry and bitter.
You could cover the ground in green,
Be happy and calm.
You could paint the sky blue,
You could choose to be optimistic or sad.
But underneath it all,
No matter how many times you paint these walls,
It is still the shades of gray.

Like perfect isn't perfect,
Then why do we do it anyway?
Like the sun isn't really alive,
Yet, we depend on it day by day.
Life isn't always what it seems,
Cause underneath it,
Are the shades of gray.

Sometimes you're crying,
Then later you're smiling.
Today you're living,
Tomorrow you don't know,
You just hope you're not dying.
Just yet.