Never

by last_petal   Mar 28, 2007


Never let your tear fall
To make a new hole
For this is just goodbye
To take a leap that is so high

Never hug me so tight
For it just makes me feel fright
For this is just goodbye
To take a leap that is so high

Never let me feel this is the last
That's making my life into dust
For this is just goodbye
To take a leap that is so high

Never bade me goodbye
It's sense makes me high
For this is just goodbye
To take a leap that is so high

Maybe it is "just" for me
For the whole truth to see
Never do these things
For my heart to be not on grieve

Please let this be now
Because I don't know how
If this is forever

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Kit Kat Katie

    The stanzas seem messed up. You need to work on your rhyming, and keep your patterns together. If you need a change in the pattern, make it dramatic. It was draw attention, and tell the reader, 'i'm doing something different now' Your wording might need a little work too, but it was nice.

  • 17 years ago

    by Zach Armitage

    Very cool. though its hard to keep the rythem in the 3 stanza, i think one too many syllables in the second line. but held it very well. this rythem and repetition of last line in verse gives it a song like quality that adds to the momentum of the poem. like i sed very cool. and only 14? thats impressive.

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