Dinner on the run

It was pretty okay. The set up was a little funky, as in how you have small parts of one sentence on two lines when the sentence could have easily have been on one line. That wouldn't have bothered me so much if there were periods, but there were not, so it does. I felt the lower half was a bit off. The whole kissing and friends thing. Perhaps it was a metaphor for food against the lips and thing something else about friends? I don't know, it just didn't seem to fit to me. The title got my attention and I think the first line or were pretty good. I'll give it a three.

Im not sure if this is stupid or funny.
but i laughed anyway =]
nice job.

Grreat poem love the rythmes and great flow wonderfully written lol good job and thanks ofr the comment

keenan

Aw I love the rhyming in the poem :) nice flow and thanks for the comment :)

"Then we will kiss on the lips
When our trip ends
we will still be friends"

My favourite lines. This was really good, really short, and even though it's under 'funny' it still has a nice love theme tucked in :).