Okay, first off I believe that you need to even the syllable count. With the rhythm off the flow and rhyme scheme will never be good enough to keep the reader's attention. Also, i've noticed that few great poems are written with two line stanzas. Avoid filler words "because" "and" etc. These don't enhance the poem and just add syllables that can mess up your rhythm. I don't think this was badly written. I believe it is about average or slightly above. I'd rate it a 3.7/5. 'Course you get a four because i round up

I really liked this poem, it was very touching.

I really liked this poem and don't feel that the two line stanza hurt it any.. It was very well written in my opinion and I enjoy your writting!! 5/5!!!!!
~Tyanna~

I agree with Afraid of the dark on this one. I enjoyed this poem but i think that should need to try and take out the filler words as they stop the flow of the poem. Other then that and the syllable count. This is nicely written good effort

Its amazing... a lot like the way i feel... :)