I was just 11 years old
and i chose drugs
so one night i made some friends who were way older than me
couple of them had cocaine the others had marijuana
so i walked over and asked them if i could have some
they said yeah
so we sat there sniffing the two drugs
later on that night
we decided we'd go to a party
and we'd hang out
it's been a couple of years now
i just turned 13
i put on my short short shorts
and a sparkle half spaghetti strap shirt
and i went to meet that same group
they had invited me to a party
so i went thinking everything would be fine
everything seemed to be fine
they offered me a beer
my best friends from school were there
Alisha and Ashlee came over and asked me if i can dance with them
i said no because I'm going to get stoned tonight
so my new friends and i went to a back room and sniffed marijuana
i was really stoned
and i drunk some beer also and learned you can't mix drugs and alcohol so i only took one sip of vodka
my new friends went back to the party
Matt decided to stay with me
he sat right next to me and put his hand on my leg and rubbing my leg up and down
i asked him to please stop
and he kept on doing it
then he decided he'd kiss me
i then jumped up yelling at him to never kiss me again
i was so stoned i fell on my butt
he then forced himself on top of me
i tried to push him off
he kept slapping me
i started screaming
he slapped me again and put his hand over my mouth
he got his pants off and he pulled my skirt up
took my underwear off
he almost ripped my shirt off
he then took my bra off
and he started to go inside me and go up and down on top of me
he did it so hard that i started to bleed
it hurts to much
so here i am stoned and I'm trying to fight him off of me
but he's too strong and I'm weak
he's finally done he yelled get up b***Ch
no little b***Ch could ever make me come
he then said to me you were asking for it with that little skimpy outfit
and remember you can't rape the willing
so i got dressed and i ran out of the party
i was thinking to myself
where can i go i don't want to go home
so i went walking and i cried and cried
the last thing i was thinking it's all my fault
and i should just kill myself
i never went home for 2 weeks straight
i said to myself should i go to the cops
i said no because everyone would call me a wh**re and that i asked for it
then the other thought was that
he'd probably come after me and do it again or maybe kill me
so i went home and i took a shower and said nothing to my family they were worried wanting to know where the h**ll i was
i told them not to worry about it I'm fine and I'm home i went to school the next day and my friends are mad at me
just because i chose drugs over them
i tried to apologize but they wouldn't talk to me no more and to top it all off i was raped again by my 3 cousins
2 boys and one girl
and again id did the same thing as i did before i didn't tell on them i went home and did nothing
I'm living that life and i won't ever tell anyone ever.
