Acceptance

I'm not sure what I'm feeling
I don't know what it is
I'm not happy, or angry
Ive never felt like this

I don't think its sadness
I'm not really lonely
But since you have left me
Ive gone through some changes

At first I denied it
I refused to believe it
All I did was delay
Inevitable heartbreak

For a few weeks I suffered
I cried all the time
Every day I thought of you
And wished you were still mine

My heart was all over
My mind was mixed up
Neither could agree with the other
On why we broke up

I pulled you back and forth
I said things I probably shouldn't
I hope you can forgive me
Because to live without you, I couldn't

I know Ive told you before
How much I appreciate what you've done
For all the ways you've helped me
Even though I should have been the one

I could have done it on my own
I really didn't need your help
But when I met you
I finally felt I had a reason to better myself

You have managed to show me
That its not as hard as it seems
You held my hand and pulled me through
Now I'm learning to do it myself

I agree with you
That I need to grow up
But I cant help but be scared
That I will screw up

But despite my fears
I'm taking your advice
I'm going back to school
I'm going to better my life

Right now were not talking
You think its for the best
Maybe you're right
This is the ultimate test

I really do miss you
I know your feelings aren't the same
I'm learning to deal with it
Neither one of us is to blame

People break up all the time
I have been through this before
Its not like its anything new
But you were so much more

After doing a lot of thinking
I'm beginning to understand
That this feeling I have
Is the beginning of acceptance

So I guess all I'm trying to say
Is I care so much about you
I hope that after all thats happened
We will still be friends forever