You sused the same structure and pattern as the previous poem i read in this one. Again i loved the rhyme scheme youve got going on, and one more the rhyme's did noit seem forced. Your words caught my attention and i wanted to read more, you kept taht attention throughout the poem. I htought to improve i suggest you use some more poetry tecquniques. Like alliteration and repitition. And use punctuation. But eyah ery enjoyable reads! Keep writing... :) xx