Never Again

My love for her is real, and that love runs deeply through my veins.

She makes me happy any time I am around her, listening to her, or thinking of her.

That's huge for anyone, especially since normally I live a gloomy, bleak life.

I feel it was our fates that lead us together.

We don't know when we will pass away, so our time is precious.

But my love for her is strong enough to continue after our deaths.

Where does our consciousness go after our bodies are gone?

Perhaps it's a spirit world, a different dimension, or maybe heaven.

If I am so blessed to be with her there, I still might get torn away.

We could still lose contact in death, if we recycle, and try again.

Either one or both of us might go back to Earth via reincarnation.

Then to find her all over again, with all odds against us reconnecting.

Where and when would we be sent back?

If we are born in the same generation would be lucky, or it could be the opposite, a separate millennia altogether.

With a planet of billions, how will I be able to find her?

We wouldn't be able to recognize one another if we walked right past each other.

Hoping we'd be on the same continent, and speaking the same language.

No matter if we come back as a woman and a man again, whether I'd be the female and she the male, it wouldn't change a thing.

I would still love her (or him).

But if we regenerate as the same sex, things might be a bit tougher to find and be with each other, depending on the era we end up in.

With no memories from our past lives.

Maybe an occasional vision that we wouldn't realize their importance of them, or we wouldn't be able to understand them.

How many times have we known each other, in earlier lives?

I can't let her go now, we have many chances, and opportunities lined up.

We are born in the same generation, same continent, country, state, county we even are living in neighboring towns.

We both would need to be competent, able minded, and relatively healthy.

Right now we are both physically healthy (free of any dilapidating handicaps or crippling diseases).

But I am not well in this life, my mental illness.

I blame this sickness for keeping me farther away than I want.

Although we have gotten to know each other fairly well.

It's ironic that the very thing that brought me to her, may keep me from her.

She is the only motivation and passion in my life.

The motivation has gotten me to work on me getting better.

The first time in my life, I am trying very hard.

As my passion, she is always in my thoughts and I can't stop writing poems about her.

I guess that's the only way I am able to let her know all the reasons I do love her.

I want to think that if I do conquer this sickness, she will be willing to be with me.

It's just a dream, but I won't let it go.

Without that dream I'd most likely fall deeply into an even heavier depression.

I also pray that I will get better, and that I will still be around long enough for her to see me healthy.

If I knew that this is definitely the last time, our last chance in fate of an actual "us". I would sell my soul to be with her.

Even then it wouldn't guarantee anything; my soul has never had any worth.

Never again will I have a chance like this.

I must do everything in my power to make this work.

We'll never know when we will die, so time is precious.

With my faith in her, I would trust her with all of my heart.

And I would keep hers well-protected and loved to the fullest.