Rain (haiku) and sleep also haiku

by cowgirlstar26   Apr 2, 2007


"rain"

Pitter pattering
rythmic beating on the ground
a thick cloud broods

Sleep"

a dark blackened room
rising , falling of the chest
peaceful slumbering

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    This was so beautifully written, it made me feel very relaxed.
    However, the third line is one syllable short.
    Apart from that though, you did a wonderful job with this.

  • 17 years ago

    by Poeta

    I love the sleep one; you convey so much great imagery with such a short space. 5 stars! ^^

    Heartz!

  • 17 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    They are great...........very nicely written
    the only suggestion i have is make it two different one, separate them............... great job once again