The Hellion Becometh

by XXXrusted silverXXXwas nvr good enough to be goldXXX   Apr 3, 2007


A monster created,
From the devastation,
A demon jaded,
Left in hesitation.

I wonder if you value,
This monstrosity you created,
Her beauty you replaced,
With a being so mutilated.

No good words she speaketh,
There's nothing good to say,
No smiles to offer anyone,
It's the horrid price she paid.

She made a evil bargain,
The devil took her soul,
For a lie of happy endings,
That in turn left her not whole.

She's crude without conscious,
Guilt she does not feel,
She'd hurt a soul without regret,
And a vengeance that's unreal.

With one penetrating stare,
She can take you down,
Better to be dead,
Than have her around.

She glares at happy people,
With a jaundiced eye,
They hex her away in fear,
As the atmosphere intensifies.

A black aura surrounds her,
Her touch turns things to dust,
Flowers wilt and animals cringe,
Gold and silver turn to rust.

Lost to her past friends,
She ran them all away,
Shunned by her whole family,
Glad she roamed astray.

It's all because of you,
That her world is dark and dull,
She lives in a demonic world,
Within an empty hull.

It's all because of you,
That she makes everyone run,
It's all because of you,
This hellion I've become.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Kristina

    Wow you did such a great job on writing this poem. it's sad but amazing. you really have talented. the flow was good. 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Ok.

    You have a nice vocabulary, it seems. Praise.

    You can rhyme [or I think that's what you were trying to do,] but it doesn't flow. I'm not sure why.

    And, it's slightly cliche talking about the devil taking her soul and all.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex 5.5

  • 17 years ago

    by Delie

    Wonderful.
    the best part is all the descriptive words and such. and the end...you first talk about this girl, then you see that this girl is you :)
    yay! 5 thumbs up!

  • 17 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Wow. It was interesting how at the end you turned to make it about you.

    "She's crude without conscious,
    Guilt she does not feel,
    She'd hurt a soul without regret,
    And a vengeance that's unreal. "

    ^^ I really loved those lines, something about them called out to me, I don't know what.

    Great hob!

    5/5 (:

  • 17 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wow, great write, I loved the choice of words. The flow as well as the structure was good. I liked your rhyming scheme as well great Job.

    Peace, Joe

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