Vampire symphony

by firexdancer   Apr 4, 2007


They raise their hands to the sky
Flushed crimson by the sun
They dance, now a message,
Listen to what they have become

Their chanting growing louder
But still as silent as the ocean
The waves coming to feed,
In one flowing motion

The screams of the prey,
Are drowned out by the hunt
You have to watch them kill,
But you stare rigid out in front
its so beautiful,
The river of the blood,
It flows up to the clouds
So warm for a flood.

The music plays too slow
They walk amongst the free,
Their lips moving in a song,
That no one can hear but me.

The music plays too quiet
As they walk among the free
Their lips moving in a song,
A vampire symphony.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Nix

    Good imagery, great choice of words, I've had a feeling like I was there.
    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    :| Sorry about that last comment. Wherever "�" this is appear, it should be quotation marks. Lol.

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I thought I would copy what I said in the contest about this poem, into an actual comment, too.

    This poem was wonderful to read. So dark and somewhat creepy, yet amazing. There were no mistakes, apart from “infront” – that should be two words, not one.
    “Flushed crimson by the sun.” – beautiful imagery here.
    “But still as silent as the ocean.” – I found this a little strange. I don’t know about anybody else, but personally I do not associate the ocean as “silent.” Calming, beautiful, filled with tranquality, yes. Silent? Not so much.
    “They walk amongst the free.” – you used this line both in the last and second from last stanzas, which made it appear overused and messed with your flow a little bit.
    “The river of the blood.” – again, beautiful imagery created here. Altogether, nice work.

    :)

  • 17 years ago

    by Shawna

    This is an awesome poem.

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