When It Rains Today

by LadyPearl   Apr 4, 2007


Black clouds smother away hope and dreams tonight
Into the mirror behind I see my face in a pale light
Cut like little threads leading downwards to my heart
The tiny golden frays beneath will slowly fall apart

What once was painted white now fades along with rain
Feelings come and go but remnants leave its stain
Walking through the world as though time cease to exist
Unfeeling dead pondering away through neverending mist

When it rains again today, no mind will follow me by
Only the body, yes, the body, a carcass waiting to die
I try to realize the blessings that others only dream
Still the grey world of tomorrow fades on the sorrow stream

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  • 13 years ago

    by Brittany C

    "Unfeeling dead pondering away through neverending mist". neverending should be never ending.

    "When it rains again today, no mind will follow me by" I think that it would sound better if you took "by" off the end of this sentence. It doesn't really seem to fit there very well.

    Other then that I liked the poem.
    4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Prasad Baadkar

    That was really a strong poem & the rain itsef either portrays joy or well makes one cry each & every bit of tear...

    Keep it up.

    Best wishes with this poem for other poems too..

    Keep it up

    Karan

  • 16 years ago

    by Once an Angel

    Beautifully penned. Poetry is one of the best ways to explain to ourselves and to others the deepest emotions that torture the human soul. You captured that well in this poem, and brought emotions to your readers.

  • 16 years ago

    by jocelyn

    "Cut like little threads leading downwards to my heart"
    That was my favorite line. Very beautful, strong, powerful. I find your words dark and that merely raises my intrest. 5/5.

  • 17 years ago

    by Love Panda

    This is a great poem, i havnt read anything as good for what feels like ages, great rhymes, great stanzas and great use of words...i love how you have one thing in mind and stay stuck to it and not drift off the subject, your work still blows my mind.
    this line was my fave "Feelings come and go but remnants leave its stain" excellent work.

    october xx

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