You Were Never There

The words run threw my head
Everything I've ever wanted to say to you
But never could
You were never there when I needed you
You weren't there when I cried myself to sleep
Or when I thought I wouldn't make it through the night
When I made my first wish
The wish for you
To come back
You weren't there when I first walked
Or to see me fall
You never got to hear my voice
Or see me grow up
You were never there to kiss me goodnight
Or to read me a bed time story
When I had my first crush
Or my first boyfriend
You were never there to protect me from the hurt and all the pain
Or to warn me how easy hearts can break
I would say I missed you
But then that would be a lie
Because I really don't know you
I just miss what you could've
And should've been
I'd say I hate you
Because most of the time I truly think I do
But then again
I don't know you
How can you hate someone you don't know
I guess in the end
I don't hate you or love you or even miss you
I hate that you left
And that you never bothered to call or write
I hate that I never knew you
Or why you left
I miss everything that we could've shared
And I'd love to just see what it would've been like to have two parents
And I know this is always going to be an issue for me
It's always going to hurt me
And always make me cry
But maybe someday
The hurting and crying will stop
And it'll all be okay