Dysfunctional Me

I'd,
Pour sugar into an old ladies tank.
Feed a lost puppy horse dung.
Rip off the head of my little cousin's doll.
Tell an anorexic that she was fat.
Because I'm freaking dysfunctional!!!!

I'd,
Put steaming hot water in my kid brother's water gun
Only because I hate his freaking friend!
Give an innocent baby spoiled milk
And laugh when they spit it out.
Prank call a wife's phone and say that
I'm her husband's lover.
Throw away my moms car keys
Because I'm freaking dysfunctional!!!

I'd,
"Sick" my dog on the mailman.
Steal a bum's can full of change.
Tell a little girl that her mommy's dead.
Tell a little boy that he's adopted.
Crash my mom's car into my dad's car.
Spray paint all over some rich kids Mustang.
Call Pizza Hut, order 20 pizzas and
Send them to my neighbors house,
Because I'm freaking dysfunctional!!!
Dysfunctional me!