I once heard a story
It was about a girl who believed that when you are 10 you are also 1,2,3,4,5....,9 also.
I don't know about you but I think when we are happy or sad you are everything jealous, spiteful, depressed, eccentric, and so on.
I believe everyone has more than one face, but I can't speak for everyone only myself.
I feel I passed though my 14 years as a wallpaper flower. Seen, but unnoticed at the same time.
At home at school. I see wrong I know right, but as a wallpaper flower you would lack the courage, spirit, and heart to correct it. After 14 years of oppression.
I can't look in the mirror
Because when I do I see an enclosed, spiteful, hateful, and envious girl.
Enclosed I hide the truth I bear the lies. You make me laugh you think you know me? Do you know I hate you? Do you know I fear you? Do you know that I would give up everything to be you and yet you whine on the most ridiculous things, you naive fool.
Spiteful spiting any love that comes my way. After 14 years everything looks fake
so don't give me your I love yous or you friendly hugs because it makes me tremble it makes me weep. I can no longer accept love. I fear love because I don't understand it, what is this four-letter word?
Hateful hating myself for the lack of courage to fight for what I want, what is right, and what is needed when it is right in front of my face. All the forced back words and swallowed tears I begin to hate it all.
Envious jealous of everyone who seems to have real happiness but like I would be able to recognize that.
When you see me you will know why I am the wallpaper flower. I am not Emo, Gothic, or running around mourning for the world. I smile, I laugh, I play, I live. My perfect cover.
Fragile as glass.
All I have is hope and dreams
but I know it is only my refuge in the night in my slumber
I live the way I want to without you.
I fear of being alone and even though I hate you please don't leave me.
