I Won't Lose Myself Again

I've got this fire raging in my brain.
I'm in the mood to cut again.
And it's driving me insane.
I know this will never end.

I thought the urge was dead.
I really tried to quit.
But this fire burns instead.
I've had enough of it.

I was safe for so long.
The scars began to heal.
I don't know what went wrong.
Now I never will.

The razor blade is calling.
My blood answers on its own.
And now the blood is falling.
I've never felt so much alone.

Now the urge is getting stronger.
My blood is getting weak.
I know it won't be much longer.
Until my eyesight turns bleak.

My throat tightens in fear.
As the urge begins to fade away.
I wish the razor blade wasn't here.
I begin to pray.

I'm hoping that I live.
I don't want to die.
I pray that God will forgive.
I'm hoping that he'll try.

I'm sitting on the floor.
Staring up at the ceiling.
Wondering what all of this was for.
My mind continues reeling.

I don't want to die.
I never really did.
I let the razor blade lie.
I did it again.

I crawl to my room.
I lay on the bed.
Close my eyes to this doom.
And soon I know I'll be dead.

I wake up in pain.
In an unfamiliar place.
I'm tired from my blood drain.
My heart begins to race.

I'm in a hospital bed.
I know I've been saved.
I know I'm not dead.
I'm not in my grave.

I'll move on to therapy.
When my stay here comes to an end.
To begin a whole new me.
I won't lose myself again.