Fighting to be happy is not so easy right now...
all day long...I've reflected and questioned.
why are things turning out like this.
pain maybe a part of life but not so much that its all you knew until he came along and swept you off your feet. before giving you even more pain in the end.
looking at myself from the outside i see flaws but they no longer disappoint me the way they used to.
I'm willing to change nearly everything about myself...but coming to realize i would be fake if i weren't me...
people may disapprove of who i am... let them. i am who i am no one is going to change that. but also i need to let it go... the past....is exactly that...its made me the teenager i am now.
no more hiding from the world...if i want to achieve my dreams i have to let the world see me and judge me how they wish.
no more harm will i do to myself
no more taking everything to heart.
no more blaming myself for everything gone wrong
i have to accept the truth and be responsible.
i need to just learn to be happy with my life....today is that first step and maybe one day, that friendship will become more again until then i will just have to let things be.
I've lost many friendships along the way, i didn't fight to keep them as hard as i could've. people i loved have died i let it torment me because of what I didn't do when i had the chance. I've agonized over should've would've and could've when I can see now that its not the answer to being happy
