Awesome poem..think you should hurry up and finish it so people can read what else you got for it lol, looks liek a good start to a great poem =)

First off, I like your choice of words through the whole piece a lot. You worded each stanza greatly and made the whole poem truly effective. The repetition of the first line of the first stanza through the poem is powerful and it added interesting rhythm to the piece. Also, you managed to create flawless flow from the beginning to the end. Your descriptions are amazingly vivid and they took me to fascinating poetic journey as the poem unfolded. This is also very emotional, heartfelt. I can't find anything to critique, I deeply enjoyed in every stanza and I think that you did remarkable job with this piece. It is original and powerful, truly memorable.

Greatly done.

Wow. this is a very well written poem. the imagery is great and i can feel and see what i am reading. very nice work.

Wonderful write...
very impressing word choice...
Porcelain skin as colorless, and as pale as snow.
'Tormented spirit, that replicates love's demise.
Incomprehensible eyes, emit pain and dread.
Exquisite ruby lips, whose corners cease to rise'...

^^ this really touched me specially tha last line...
'Exquisite ruby lips, whose corners cease to rise'

^ excellently written...

I hv never tried this form of poetry... thanxx for introducing it... you have captured it beautifully...

keep writing..

Impressive.

"Porcelain skin as colorless, and as pale as snow."

I really admired this single opening line that was very effective, nice simile used that gave me a bit of a visual.

"Saturated lips, the color of crimson red..
Tantalizing fire, shining deep within dark eyes.
Twisted soul holds a secret, that one only knows."

You withdraw a haunting essence here, and that just captivated me all the way.

"Porcelain skin as colorless, and as pale as snow.
Hidden, tragic, secrets, in the tears never shed.
Terrifying truth, screamed only in silent cries.
Abysmal torture, held by scarlet always bled."

The repition was well-used and you really put thought into each line, you didn't just write. I liked reading the word "abysmal", I don't hear it often, but it seemed to fit perfectly.

"Porcelain skin as colorless, and as pale as snow.
Tormented spirit, that replicates love's demise.
Incomprehensible eyes, emit pain and dread.
Exquisite ruby lips, whose corners cease to rise."

This hit me the most I would have to say, all I can truly say is well done.

"Porcelain skin as colorless, and as pale as snow.
Anguish bottled deep inside, reasoning not said.
Fiery, passionate eyes forever in disguise.
Luscious cherry lips, which mutter only lies."

A breathtaking last line that strikes the reader hard. A lovely excellent write to come upon, thank you for sharing it with all of us.

God bless you!

~MaryAnne