Comments : Undesirable Reality [Collaboration with Karl Wild]

  • Wonderful poem. The flow was excellent and the vocubalry was great.
    Good job 5/5

    :Sarah:

  • 17 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Beautifully penned collboration by 2 of my favorites! Good word choice and flow. Very heartfelt. Great job!!

  • 17 years ago

    by Fluffy

    "I seize shelter in your whisper
    Tranquility in your stunning smile
    With your persuasion, I defer
    Each moment spent; worthwhile"

    ^This is actually the first collaboration I've read here, and I must confirm, it is quite excellent :).

    You've explored love in immense detail and the usage of strong adjectives and addictive rhyme has formulated a doubtlessly unique piece. Brilliant use of imagery throughout the piece.
    I would comment further but my head is dead. Nonetheless, good stuff, mate :).

  • 17 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Love the repetition in the opening and ending verses....very well done collab....beautiful and romantic. 5/5 Debbie

  • 17 years ago

    by robin milford

    Beautiful u 2 did a great job

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    What a lovely poem this is. A seamless collaboration that has a dreamy and soft feel to it that's almost calming to read.
    Lovely, unforced rhyme that obvious effort has been put into - lots of two/three syllable rhyming words that give the poem a fresh feel.
    Excellent - I really enjoyed this.
    All the very best,
    Ben