Ok this poem i found to be a good read but it really needs a few things fixed up. Like you used the word "you" too much throughout it. I understand when your talking to someone in a certain form then you say the word "you" but it was constantly used throughout this poem.
Also the 3rd and fourth line need to be mad as one but if you do that then the lines going to be too long compared to the rest so instead of that

what makes me more sad is that you don't listen to me

i think you should write something like this:

"Whats even sadder is you dont listen to me"

I'm sure you may be able to come up with something more creative then me, but thats just an example.

You also used the word "sad" way to much throughout this poem try something like, upset, or hurt. That would break the poem up a bit more.

The format i feel if you capitalize the first letter of every line it would make it look much neater.

Please dont feel i am ripping into your poem. I mean no disrespect when i tel you this i just prefer to comment honestly then lie to people about their poem. If your offended i am truely sorry.

I think you had the right idea with this poem though with some work it would be an interesting read.

So if or when you decide to fix it up a little let me know i'd love to re-read.

A good effort though~mel

Wow you really fixed this poem up and made it much better. I liked how you shortened down the use of certain words and shortened down that line. I think you made a good effort in changing this poem. Well done april i enjoyed reading this alot more now =) ~mel

Awesome job wonderfully written lots of good words were used to describe everything. and thx for the comment on my poems:)

keenan

Thank you so very much and it was my pleasure

Excellent job with this one hun

It is really good and elabroate u descrispition was awesome and u totally showeing the truth but it could of been longer!