I finally realized

Laying in bed at night, thinking of you
Hoping your thinking of me.
Only hoped you still felt the same way
Didn't see the easy signs that everyone else could see.
Was so confused, wishing I knew what you felt.
Never let my real feelings show..
There was so much I wish I could tell you,
I was still so in love with you.
Showing the signs you still loved me too.
Who knows, I didn't know what you were feeling.
Looking back on all those amazing memories
Tears often fall down my face my heart starts to ache.
Just remembering how much we loved each other,
And how different we are now, its all because
Words were left unspoken...
Wish you knew I was always still thinking of you.
I guess I'm missing those cuddles..
Miss how I was the angel of your life
And how you always missed me only after such a short time.
Those emails and messages telling me how much you loved me..
And missing the feeling to know that you loved me..
And I loved you..
I Now realize that you'll always be in my heart..
Because you were the first one I ever truly loved
And what we had was so real and honest.
I hope we stay close forever..
But I suppose its up to you as well,
To make that commitment
Like if you remember that time..
We promised each other we would never drift apart..
Now I see that maybe you have finally moved on..
Even after those times you've told me and the times I told you
That we both moved on..
You probably thought I was over you..
So you thought you have to do the same..
But I'm not even over you.. not even a little bit..
I know that deep down all those feelings were hidden..
I never realized what was right in front of me until its changed.
Because now I know that we still loved each other.
It kills me so much, to know you may fully have moved on..
now you are showing the signs that you have..
it hurts me so bad, words cant even describe..
The only thing is keeping me up is there is hope.. its not to late
And I'm never giving up.
Now because of our Easter break.. I wont be seeing you for awhile
But still..
I anxiously wait, for what will appear next.