GREAT JOB
really good work
i could really relate to this poem .
gave u a a 5 on 5

I really liked this poem because i think you portrayed this topic really well. The emotion was definitly in it although i found the word choice to be a little too commen if you know what i mean. One other thing i found off was the stanzas you had different amounts of lines in different stanzas.

They want to stay away
But they had a bad day...

I didnt really like them lines only for one reason they ryhmed when the rest of the poem didnt.

Other then that i found you did a great job with this subject. Well done ~mel

The first four lines were AMAZING! If you think about it those words are so funt to say like "creamy" "chocolate" and cake" all in one sentance! Sorry.. I have a weird obbsession with how nice words sound somtimes. Anyway, your discriptive words were amazing! The flow was thrown off a bit in one place because you rhymed, and the rest of the poem didn't. Also in this line,

"And there down on their knees."
^^^It would be "and they're down on their knees"

Nice job on approaching such a hard topic with such poetical grace.

I cant really relate to this topic, but i like the way you approached it. gracefull and flowing. very descriptive on the food and not to deragatory* at the bottom. great work.

And theyre down on their knees.
^ * you're.

They want to stay away
But they had a bad day...
^ Those two lines, they rhymed. The rest of the poem didn't. It threw the flow off a bit.

Other than those two things this was a great poem.
I loved how you went about writing the poem. Without making it sound too cliche, or making it unbearable. Some people will go into more detail making the poem gory. You didn't which I absolutely loved. :]
The flow was pretty good, along with the way it was set up.

Great Job.
Keep it up. :]

Nicely done. You told a story about fat foods and how bullimic people think about it. Well done! I personally didn't find any mistakes within the poem The flow seemed a little shaky but other than that it was very good. God Bless 5/5
<3Tayy

Aw. Wow, this poem was so terrible! So sad ;[ It literatlly brought tears to my eyes. I guess because, it's such a common thing in teenagers these days. And it's terrible, such a horrible disease. There's really no help for them.

As they approach there sight... [there, should be their*]

And theyre down on their knees. [they're*]

The flow was a bit rocky.. but I loved the story told. Even though this is a cliche subject.. you penned it very well & not like most bullimic poems I've read.

Very nice.

Lovely poem as always! :D there were a few lines that just weren't working for me though. but other than that it was great. 5/5 love.

This is great! 5/5