When Silence Cease

by LadyPearl   Apr 8, 2007


Know the silence
When wispy hands caresses
From the sky to the very last grain of sand
Know the silence
When strolling down a forest covered path
Surrounded by an artist's canvas

Everywhere you step will be a rising stone
Charred at the ends where fire was thrown
Everywhere you touch will be a fragment of my heart
Stretching unseen from branch to branch
And on top...the silence again
Will watch you pass by the shadows of life
Unaware that your footprints linger behind

At the end, an ancient white mansion looms
curtains drawn with dust becoming fog
The gates--shelled by reddish rust
Reminds you of coffin lids, waiting yet untouchable
She watches, this silence, with aging eyes
As you examine the place
Like a hunting dog sniffing out enemies

Your hands trembling at the wake of something
Still the gates open to your cold hands
Then white turns to black
Fading in dust
As you stand there with your hands on nothing
but air
As you stand there with the stones in place
unmoved
As you stand there gazing at nothing but a mound
of death

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    This was an amazing poem! You had such great imagery and detail in this poem. You have an amazing talent. Keep up the awesome work! God Bless 5/5
    <3Tayy

  • 17 years ago

    by Vegetable

    Good poem! I love how all your similes are very unique. Besides "Canvas" in the first stanza "manson" should be mansion in the 3rd, "will" should be with. But those are really little mistake. This poem also flowed really well, the only thing is you could add some more punctuation to make it easier to understand. Also, in the first stanza it should be "its (no apostrophe) wispy hands caress"

    Besides that, very good job.

  • 17 years ago

    by Brigitte

    Ohhh amazing, simply amazing write. You had so many comparisons in there that I don't know where to begin. Let's see, I'll tell you first what I got out of the poem. I liked how you compared the land to your heart sort of... like everyone knows that they leave footprints on the land... but not many realize the impact of the ones they leave on hearts. I also invisioned the white house as sort of a dusty heart of a worn out lover. Like how you said there was gates (by the way I love how you said "shelled by reddish rust...it was a unique way of saying things) I inviosned that the gates were the barriers around the heart. That were easily broken, sort of like somone could break the gates... but never actually hold the heart. I'm not sure if this was at ALL what you were intending to portray. But thats what I got out of it... I loved it nice work

  • 17 years ago

    by Kurt

    1st stanza spelling mistake. Canvas, easy fix. This wasn't a bad poem at all. A suggestion though, is to avoid rhymes if you'll only be making one or two. Because they can cause an increase or decrease in the flow of the poem. Also at times the descriptions seemed dry and forced. Try to allow the descriptions to be natural. All in all I rate this 4/5.

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