I can hear the rain pounding on the window as I lay awake in bed.
Thoughts of you keep running through my head.
The conversation from tonight keeps repeating.
Words exchanged, acts of cruelty.
I wonder why I said the things I said.
I wonder why I acted like I did.
Has the stress of it all taken it's toll?
Did I just snap out of frustration?
So far apart, the distance is painful.
Not being able to see your face is heart-wrenching.
Every moment apart seems like forever.
And all I can do is fight when you return.
Am I programmed to cause such grief?
I turn over in bed, tears in my eyes as I pray to change.
How can you say you love such a mess up like me?
It doesn't make sense.
The rain pours down like I wish to pour my soul out to you.
I want to tell you my feelings.
All of them.
From love to hate.
But when I try...
All I do is start a fight.
And it just causes more pain to the both of us.
So I want to lock down my emotions.
As I pray tonight to change, the rain begins to drizzle.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day?
I can only pray.
For change.
