You Just Pushed Me To My Death

Time goes by
Yet I don't understand
The purpose of this feeling
Or this blade in my hand

"We know you're sick
But only time can tell"
So when do I stop feeling
Like my world just fell

Borderline or bipolar
Or something of the kind
Then they choose to tell me
That it's all just in my mind

Day after day
I hear them talk and still
Nothing changes how I feel
Or who I want to kill

"Sweetie, why don't you eat?
You're not at all fat
Why do you cry so much
And cut yourself like that?

Why all the drugs?
Just throw it all away
And stop with the attempts
Just make up your mind to stay

Why are you so depressed?
Stop wishing you were dead
We know you're sick but remember
It's all just in your head"

Day after day
I hear them talk and still
Nothing changes how I feel
Or who I want to kill

So I've written down my answers
For those who are asking "why"
And for those who question
My wishes of wanting to die

I don't eat because I'm fat
Don't tell me that I'm not
And I cut because I want to
Trust me, it's all I've got

The drugs help with the feelings
They make me forget
We all know I'm sick
Don't act like you're upset

Day after day
I heard them talk and now
Instead of asking why
They're always asking how

"How come she never ate?
She was always so thin
How did she have all those scars
Covering her skin?

How did she get a hold of the drugs?
She was always high
I guess nobody expected
That we would have to say good-bye"

And I'm sure the one question
You all ask with a twist
Is "How did she gather the courage
To choose to slit her wrists?"

So consider this a suicide note
To answer all your questions
Now it won't be a mystery
Why I fell into depression

You saw the cuts, the tears
You saw the bones, the meth
But by asking all the questions
You just pushed me to my death

Copyright 2007