Even If It Kills Me

So can I go a little bit back in time,
To a point where I can leave you behind?

To where YOU stopped your life to help with mine,
And instead of breaking down, I'll just say I'm fine...

I can replay it from there to see where I go,
And if you ask again for your help, I'll just say no!

I swear you're like a drug that I should have refused,
Because every "I'm busy" you say, it makes me bruised...

It hurts so much since I care a lot,
I'm done with trying and giving all that I've got...

I'm so tired of busting MY ASS to get a single word out of you!
It makes me sick to think that all the words you said were "true"...

You told me you will ALWAYS care,
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, you will always be there!

I just have to call you and you'll do everything you can,
No matter what though, you'll always give a damn!

I've been looking for the past month or so,
I can't seem to find you, where did you go?

You honestly changed into this prissy person too,
I know that it IS NOT the real you...

It feels as if I'm stuck inside this dark room,
Hoping and praying that you'll be calling soon...

And it feels like you're watching me shake, tremble, and cry...
And you're standing there, you won't even try...

Now what kind of person are you to lie to someone like me...
A screwed up kid who ONLY YOU made happy?

You crushed me Jen, you really let me down,
You don't care that you aren't around...

And everyone says that I should just move on,
But things seem much harder now with you gone...

And I don't have someone there daily telling me that they care,
I don't have that person to constantly be there...

You know I wish the complete best for you,
I still have so much faith in everything you do...

And if you not being in my life makes you happy,
Then so be it, even if it kills me...

-Written for a person who promises you the world, you believe them, and in time, you watch them walk out of your world... thanks for your lies.-