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  • 17 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    Yeah i love thiws poem it sounds like a rebellion against love. nice poem 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    Sad yet Funny. You have some raw talent. Can you form it? Yes these lines are funny.... :

    I won't share my pop tart with you,

    No I won't push your cart,

    But are the needed? Do they lose the affect of the poem? It sounds like it should be 'I hate you' Love Poem. Not .. funny.. Try widening your vocab. and be serious.

    Example:

    Get this pain out of my heart,
    Make it disappear like true art,
    I won't share my life with you,
    I won't let you break my heart,
    I'm stopping before you start.
    Don't you get it,
    You broke my heart.

    You use heart a lot, but that added emphasis. Other than that you rhymed which was good... but make sure you don't force it. You have potential. You do. Work on it. :)

    Great Work, Keep Working.

    5/5