With all the respect I have for you, depite I don't know you: what the hell was that?
poetry in not only a rhyme, its not a shallow thing!
its a defenition, you can writte it for many reasons but please give your poetry some sense,or message... you might be considered by others wath you're not, with those type of texts... don't lower to that level!
my father once told me, "put your maximum effort on the minimal thing you do" (it sounds a lot better in portuguese) sincerily yours Luis

There's a great little rhyme in one of William Cole's anthologies that this reminds me of. The structure you've used to write this is different, but the disjointed humour is on the same nonsensical level. As a piece of nonsense verse it's wonderful.

I have no idea what the hell the guy above is talking about, by the way.