I want a place to rest my head

I can fake being happy
I can fake being sad
I can fake my own sanity
I can fake being mad

I can hide it all in my head
I can push it to the side later to dread
Slowly my regret festers changing me
My mind blocks it my body shows it never free
The pain is just hidden and moved
It is so hard to get the pain removed
Its changing me I am using it to do so
Even with it as a tool it begins to grow
I want to rest my head I want to nap
Let the worries melt away and stop this crap
I want to rest my head on a caring lap