I liked this poem :)
i look forward to seeing more of your poems:)

Well i loved it good job. 5/5 without a doubt

but re-read it... you have some mistakes

the story carried through good job

Well i loved it good job. 5/5 without a doubt

but re-read it... you have some mistakes

the story carried through good job

Excellent write, I liked it. The flow was ok, needs some work; The structure was good, however; there are a few mistakes through out the poem.

This line, \"is not a waist to me.\" should be changed to, \"is not a waste to me.\" You used the word, \"waist\" which is a body part of the human body, therefore; the right word to be used would be, \"waste\"

Also, this line, \"If only there was a way to make uyou see\" you mispelled the word \"you\" you typed, \"uyou\"

Another thing, when writing poetry you usually don\'t want to use slang terms such as, \"wanna\" unless you are writing an slang poem. Instead of using, \"wanna\" use, \"want to\" It makes you look more intellegent as a writer and poet.

Now, you have the first 3 stanzas with 4 lines, the 4th stanza has 2 lines, and the last stanza has 5 lines. When writing a poem, you usually want to keep it persistent through out the poem, therefore; making all the stanzas have 4 lines, try not to break it up like that, it throws off the flow of the poem.

Other than those small details, I thought this was a well thought out poem. Great Job and keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe

You go cuzin, u tell that girl u luv her