I really like how you ask questions and it flows with the poem really well, but a lil short? but lots of kudos, u should chek some of my poems if ur interested!

LOL!! Yes, it is very short..and I do plan on adding to it.. When I write poetry, what ever is in my head comes out, I don't think about it.. So if there isn't much in my head, not much gets wrote down!! But thanks for the comment and I will check out your poetry...I have some more you should check out too..!!!

I think we all take the things we have for granted, and never really appreciate what we have until it's to late. The fact that this man lost everything he had in this world, is proof enough that you never know whats going to happen. I see homeless people in the streets of my city all the time, most people say what a bum what a loser, but we never really know why there lives turned out that way. And who are we to judge others, just because they don't drive a nice car and live in a big house. amazing job again 5/5

Very nice, great job. Punctuation is a big help, most do not, keep up the good work. =) 5/5
-Ally

I loved this, i really enjoyed the story you told. It it had a very nice flow as well.

""Who do you turn to
when no one cares?
Why try to run?
There's no place to hide.

Why bother to cry?
No one sees my tears
Why try to shout?
No one will hear."

i would have to say, i loved those 2 stanzas, great writing! keep it up.

This it touching . The first stanza left me curious and reading `til the end . I suggest reading over it and editing a little bit again, but overall, it was good .
..__MiNDYY

Wow...that was a very good poem..the truths behind this story are very deep and oh so true...no matter how hard people think they have it, they really dont realize what it is like to lose everyone and everything that you hold dear. After losing it all, you have nothing to care about and hate and misery consumes you. Rather than being touched by love and kindness, you are anchored by misery. 5/5 again. Another wonderful poem.

Wow this is really deep and i really like it a lot! i think you did a really good job on writing it! it was great! 5/5

~Kristina

Wow this poem was extremely sad.. Its so true though its very hard to stay strong and keep hoping for the sunlight when everywhere you turn people are pushing you down and just waiting for you to break. I liked it very much, and I feel so bad for that person in your poem. The world is a very cruel place to some people. and its those people that never get the breaks in life. Nice write.

You was heading for the corner = You were heading for the corner

Well written, sort of corny and scratchy at the beginning, and it got better around the middle to end. I enjoyed this poem, but still it didn't make an impression that much. The story line was not vivid, you only gave the bare necessities.

I think you need to add emotional grievances, description, in it, rather than just how someone is acting. You need metaphors, you need to make it so the reader can relate to an emotion that they have never felt before using emotions that they HAVE felt before.

In spite of that, I have to admit this poem is worth a 4.0, although that it is well written.

4/5
~Stephen white

Umm...
Good, like I said
You just messed up on your grammer
You was heading for the corner,
You should check that.

I am impressed with the imagery of this conversation with a stranger. It is very effective at making the emotional points stand out……very moving

Be warned beforehand, this poem is subject to deletion for violating one of the rules in submitting poems, once the moderators discover your parenthesized note in the title. I advise you to omit it without further delay. In regards to its contents, I was rather enthused by his depressing story, whereas it's structure and flow could be augmented--once again--by applying certain poetry devices such as metaphors and line meter as well as fixing your grammar.
On the whole, a nice work which somewhat moved me and has a lot of potential to be enhanced in the long run.

This poem is full of sadness, i feel it shows how sad you are youre full of anger built up and it reflects in your poetry good job

xxx alex xxx

That was so sad. It made my heart break for that man, to harden himself after such a tragic loss. The emtion was stronger here than in your other poem, and the flow was much better. truly amazing. You are talented. 5/5

Wonderful poem.
The flow was flawless and the imagery was great.
Keep it up 5/5

[Sarah]

Good Poem! The flow was off at time.. i know people really care about that but like i told most everyone i have commented for i dont really care for flow as long as it comes from your heart!.. Keep writing!

Ohhhhh my, this was beautifully written...I'm lost for words...
Though pretty long, you kept my attention throughout and while I didn't want it to end, I wasn't disappointed when it did as the ending was so perfect.
The flow was flawless thoughout and the imagery created vivid pictures in my mind.
You truly outdid yourself with this.

The last stanza threw me off, but that was amazing chicky! great flow, rhyme scheme was RIGHT ON! And the topic was beautiful. 5/5

-Liz-
<3

...This makes me so sad. I feel so bad for the person. You have amazing talent, much more than my own. Great job!