Pt 1: The Welcoming Abyss. Book 1: Eyes

On a vacation over weeks, peacefulness
walked with me, but at many points in time,
I built up my fears that refused to die, wanting
to leave in a perfect point in time, where I
could look and smile death in the face, wave
back and enjoy his oncoming embrace.

Each day before long walks, I gripped the 8th
floor railing, the white walls, elaborate floors,
smiling faces of young and aging surrounded
me, somethings cannot last, what they have
I'll have in seconds of time, nothing, falling,
but the eagerness of eyes as they watch below
morning, nights, will bring them back in pain
that they will never look again, I formed it,
I breathe.

Fake plants dangle on every other floor,
the square shape, all around at one point
we sleep, pushing out the voices that break
out, to get in a state of peace, a soothing
waterfall below you does this, each
new day it catches your eye.

Nights I keep on at the railing outside the
room, a bond that formed, prince on it that became
encrypted with my oils, without conversation,
but bore ideas into my mind, at last I felt nothing
and I had helped myself to fall, no peer
pressure, worries, good thoughts as my body
fell through the invisible danger air lines.

So quiet was the beginning, the air, time, the
plants soil I put away my memories waved
good bye, as the color of them fades, insomniacs
from outside clear doors became the second
free watchers in line.

The lights were dim as I continued to go, doors
opened, I held a finger to my lips to silence the
people I didn't know, hoping the flash of my life
would come to me in fast forward, slow to my eyes,
arms outstretched to have angels bring me new
clothes to have in the next life, with a note of
disappointment, a death that isn't right in their eyes,
only it lowered mine, my glasses gone, the impact
brought it all clear to my eyes, color so vivid and
alive, by this I knew I wasn't alive, screaming only
from the 8th floor, as water covered my eyes,
from the railing that held my last touch, but
gripped and held onto the first touch I had ever
received.