Very nice structure i know how you feel, Im going through the same thing. But you might want the middle to flow a little better, from the heart i loved it 5/5 maybe u can read one of mine.

Need to flow better in the middle but a very good write well done

WiLd RoSe

Please comment an vote on mine thank you

For I know what I would say, would not
help my problem.
For I know what i would say, could never break my pain. ( suggestion )
and cant help but take a glance
To hear your voice, makes my heart quiver. I fall into a trans, and can't get out.
To hear your voice only makes me shake, I fall deep into a trans, and cant help but take a glance. ( suggestion )
Oh please, stop making my heartbreak. It hurts, and now it will
stay broken. Who knows, one way or another? It sucks!
To live with a broken heart, is not wonderful. You try to get close to someone, and they break it.
I think here you need to relate your broken.
heart to like a broken mirror or glass broken into a thousand pieces or something like that relate it to an object ( suggestion )
Your on my favorites keep writing.