Comments : The kill

  • 17 years ago

    by Tammie

    This is a unique poem you have here. A battle for love, with a sad ending. A good story, written with such flow and description. You created good imagery here. Well done. =] 5/5

    Tammie

  • 17 years ago

    by Manda Duhh

    Wow i love this poem its so deep and meaningful to me, I love your poems they are all so great 5/5 from me awsome dude

    Amanda xoxo

  • 17 years ago

    by Kalee

    This is a great poem David. The fight for ones love, with only one winner. Wonderful flow as always. 5/5

    Kalee

  • 17 years ago

    by Vladimir Lorenzo

    Great poem, It flows nicely and very deep,
    no less than a 5/5 from me. I agree with everyone.

  • 17 years ago

    by firexdancer

    Wow, this is really intense, so beautifully penned.... you write so amazingly, your words make pictures, 5/5 again,
    your friend, gabriella

  • 17 years ago

    by fearose

    Wow, this is really well written. First stanza reminds me of the sad truth of my own life. I love how you made this sort of medieval.

  • 17 years ago

    by June

    A powerful write and a good read ,well done !!

  • 17 years ago

    by Run out of words

    Nice poem. I got your point, but it's a sad story. I think it should be in sad poems, but well I see your point because it's quite Dark as well. = = I loved it, if I didn't mention earlier! Nice poem! I have to come back and read your next one:)

  • 17 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    The imagery is intense. Liked it. And the dark yet sad twist it has is awesome. In a way the last line needs something though but nice the way it is. I like how the first stanza sets up what the fights about but then how it goes into the fight. The fourth stanza is my favorite but it really is a good piece.
    ~Faith-less

  • 17 years ago

    by amanda flood

    Excellent choice of words very good well done 5-5

  • 17 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    Dark with excellent flow! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Cindy

    David
    I was hoping for the happy ending :( Very deep and dark . You carried this well from start to finish. Great job!

    Yet the sword plummets down
    So swiftly with skill
    Buries deep in the flesh
    The kill

    I was hoping the sword would go into the ground. Awesome!
    Take Care Cindy

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaila

    Woah!!
    David this is one of your best poems!!
    The imagery was so intense!
    I felt as if I were there.
    You made it amazing
    but your poems always are
    Love always
    xoxo
    kaila

  • 17 years ago

    by honeypot

    Your words are intense and meaningful, I particularly loved that the last line was just " The kill" so powerfull and effective.
    I will read more of your work :-)

    Keep up the good work David
    Honey pot x

  • 17 years ago

    by Carley

    I love the picture you put into the mind. its really great. can't wait to read the rest! 5/5 by the way!!!

  • Very nice poem it flows real well (assumes you were the winner) comment on some of mine please!

  • 17 years ago

    by DavidBrendan

    Your amazing man, what can I say. I love how your rhymes are flowing and every single song could be put to tune like nothing. I love music and a lot of your lyrics remind me of my favorite band Disturbed. I'm glad I favorited you a long time ago when I joined, 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by xPerfect Chaosx

    Wow David, spectaular as always!! You have an awesome way of capturing the essence of things 5/5 as always!!

    Much Love,
    .:Danielle:.

  • 17 years ago

    by amoxi

    Wow thats all i can say, theres so much imagry in this poem, its very well written, wow 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Hmm. When I first looked at it, the first thing I noticed was how the flow was choppy at some parts, and usually that nags at my head as I read through the actual poem, but you drew me in to the extent where I never even noticed the flow once. Which was refreshing from all the boring poems I've been reading haha.

    The title made me want to read it, it reminded me of the band, 30 Seconds To Mars..with the song The Kill (listen to it if you've never heard it, it's great hahaa), and that's what immediately made me want to open this to see what was in it.

    You did another great job on this piece, I really liked this one. But I did notice one thing, in the line, "Amour and shields" in the first line of the second stanza; did you mean "Armour and shields"? I don't know that's just one thing I noticed, anyways..I've been blabbing for awhile. Great job once again. =D

    5.5