Very powerful writing.

I really liked this poem, there was a lot of really good imagery. There was only one line that I had to keep reading over and over beause it really didn't help the poem flow.

"Stopping, to hear my breath slow"
I don't like word 'breath', I think you should change it to 'breathing' or 'me breathe slower' or something else.

Other than that, I really enjoyed the rest of the poem. The rhymes were great and the flow was good (except that one line). I like the last verse too, it concluded really well. Good job on this one Sarah!..