I like the use of thee, thine, nay, and so. However I'm not sure about the rhyme structure, maybe you could change it a little so it can be ABBA or ABAB, I think that may work better. Just a suggestion. =)

Another beautifully written poem you have here. I enjoyed the ryhme scheme and thought it presented great emotion. All your poems are enjoyable to read. Well done on a great new poem~mel

Hey another awesome poem except the second stanza didnt flow quite as good as the other ones but the poem was still amazing good job i think you did a wonderful job on this and thx for the other comment lol

keenan

Excellent poem, well written , very good all the way through , vocabulary was wonderful and flowed great, love your style and always enjoy it , keep up the good work,,,,, your friend Tracy d 5/5