Made my mama cry

I try to reach out but I can't move I can't even shout
I can see all these people moving about
They are so happy, so joyous, so merry,
I just wonder...Why is this so damn scary?
I cant under stand why I can't grasp the meaning of happiness,
Of true bliss, or a successful life... but what is there left?
Only that lonely cold knife.

Grasping that knife and feeling the pain,
Looking down slowly to those bleeding veins,
I laid down once more where I always had lain.
Blood flowed down onto that blanket there,
I spat out of my mouth my own hair.
i began to feel faint,
i remember when my parents wanted me to be like a saint.
Well yeah right... like that will happen now...
And now that I lay here all I have to say is wow. My mom actually understood and I just shoved her out of the way. The one who loved me most,
I can't say that she's OK.
Wow I can't believe all this has happened,
But I feel I must die...the best reason is...I made my mama cry.
Why can't I take this back? I wish I could relax...I can't stand it no more,
I look at my arm and I have scars galore.

My vision started to get blurred,
All of a sudden my soft words where all slurred,
My last words as I said my good bye,
This is the last time I will rest my head where I lie,
And I will not ever again make my mama cry."