This is an amazing poem. So much emotion put into this poem. Very well written. Loved your word choice. well done. 5/5

~Chelsea

Very nicely written..
i like the ending. good attention keeping, and vivid emotions throughout. good work.

Tom

I gave this a 4/5 because it didnt flow too well. but it was still a great poem and i enjoyed reading it..i enjoy reading all poems.! keep up the good work!

Well, this is the first poem I've read of yours and I must say it does show a certain maturity and talent :) The end was certainly a twist I wasn't expecting, it was nicely done and I especially liked the first stanza. A couple of suggestions

Here is a picture of the two of us
We looked so happy in those pictures
-don't use the word 'pictures' twice, perhaps
"we looked so happy in those memories"??
And I'm not a fan of "She committed a crime. Stole my heart away" it just seems so juvenile compared to the rest of a poem, but maybe that's because I hear so many people use it as a pick-up line . . . LOL
This was a wonderful poem and I very much enjoyed reading it! Keep smiling, keep writing
-Kim

This is really pretty good, the emotio n was so strong and powerful, and i think it pretty mch ruled the poem, the flow wasn't perfect, but it was pretty good due to not rhyming, so i think i would give it 4/5
gabriella

Beautiful piece. Excellent imagery & emotion.

[tragic]

This is a really good poem

Wow... i dont quite no what to say , i am almost speechless after that enchanting, breathtaking heartbreking peice! you had a good flow going, and you clasped my attention from beginnign to end!

A frosty wind blows from the zero north
My frail body trampled to the arctic ground
Its killing me not to be with her
Longing for her smile in my frigid life
^^my favorite stanza

Kirsty
xxx

I like your work.
makes me think about life.
i sat for a while thinking about it.
i thought if i have ever made someoen that bad about themselves and i have.
the person is depressed and now i have so much respect for that person and you.
i dont know why i did it.
but thank you for making me realize.

Urm not sure what to say about the ending *cough* melodramatic *cough*...anyway, moving on...
(Apart from the ending) it was good.
I especially liked your diction; you seemed to have picked the descriptions carefully and this showed as power and emotion in your words.
To me the first stanza has a few mistakes...
On the first line it says "in a cold..." Shouldn't it be "on a cold...?"
Also, on the second line did you mean..."into the horizon" or "beneath the horizon."
Then I'm confused who is sitting beside the tree on line three... On the previous line you mentioned the sun, so the readers mind is automatically drawn to that, it isn't until the following line that you mention a person (she/me.)
So I was thinking would it make more sense if it said "I sit silently...?"
The rest of the poem was ok though.
Thanks for sharing.

Beatuifully written, once again. the imangery was vivid and amazing, the word choice was perfect, and the vocab was divine. Emtion ran deep and strong in this peice. I really enjoyed this read. excellent job. keep writting and I will keep reading. 5/5

Wow great poem keep up the good work

AWW. well good job bro. Love it! ;)

In a cold, raw afternoon at the park
Raw?
That doesn't really make sense.
It just seems as though you're just putting in discriptive words to make it seem... well, discriptive.

She committed a crime. Stole my heart away
First off, stole my heart away is not a complete sentence.
Second off, it seems just pretty cliched to me.

Your ending...
Hmm,
I don't want to say anything.
Just know that I didn't really appreciate the suicide all that much.

It was okay.
But cliched.
It's not love when you kill yourself for the person you think you love.
It's just an obsession.
You believe that you can't do without that person
All in all, I'm going to give it a 4 for unorginality.
I SHOULD give you a 3.
But I'm not that big of a witch.

Luvd it just luvd it..i liked the evocative words that u used, it creates images within my head:D
keep up hte good work
bree x

This poem is so sad and beautiful.

I LOVE this line:

She committed a crime. Stole my heart away

Very nice poem!! Great work :-)