I love him!
I care about him so much that it drives me insane thinking that she is doing this to him.
How could he love her when she is constantly hurting him?
No matter how long i have waited to be in his arms
to know that he cared about me before all others
that I was good enough to be with him somehow i couldn't do it...
And for that one night...
He excepted me...
I thought he loved me!
I honestly thought that he cared....
That he except my feelings....
That for the first time in my life he wouldn't reject me....
It was a lie!
I was deceived, and used by the only one I really care about.
I put him before all others....
and I got this to show that my mind was trapped in a trance by a pare of deep blue eyes.
He held me, and I held back like never before.
I've waited for this moment forever, and I never thought that it would happen.
As we sat together in the darkness my feelings grew for him.
I really wanted to be with him.
I wanted to kiss him and be his for all of eternity... Then it came to pass that my dreams turned into reality, and he kissed me.
I didn't want to pull away
I wanted to stop time and make it last forever.
But I did, I pulled back from the one love I could never have. And at that very moment, i regretted it.
Then I said the only thing that destroyed my mind and soul...
I said the one thing i never ever wanted to happen...
â??I should get goingâ??
I screamed inside to stop what I was doing
To go against my head and listen to what my heart was telling me.
I grabbed him,and stood, yet he didn't want to move. He tried to pull me back down, but i didn't do it...I didn't sit back down, but pulled him up and no matter how much I wanted him, how much I wanted to be his, I deceived him and myself without wanting it. Together there as the shadowed frost around the air began pass all around us, I held him closer that anyone wold ever imagine.
He leaned back down, and kissed my cheek with the same soft lips that moments later met mine again.
â??now i really don't want you to leaveâ?? was the only thing he said.
â??I know, I'm sorry...â??
â??will you come back tomorrow?â??
â??yes, I will come back.â??
He let go of me though it killed him. His eyes never looked more lonely or sad before...
Then as I turned away, I tried so hard not to turn back just to hold him in fear of not being with him again...
A slow walk turned into a jog, and then I ran like never before. Tears falling from my eyes. I couldn't tell if it was happiness that I thought I was his, or sadness thinking that it was just a dream...
By the time I was far out of his sight, I fell.
I clutched the ground, and tears exploded out of my eyes because I knew that he wouldn't ever be mine. That this could only be a dream...
For the first time in my life, i found no comfort in darkness....
