Nowadays, I don't know what to say.
My mind sometimes, does not work, so I end up in some intangible mystery hole, where the darkness hides.
I need someone to plug in the lamp for me so that I can see. Darkness is good to meditate or sleep, but I don't want it to be dark when I think. See I think aloud more than I speak aloud, and that can kind of be like backwards in a way, or I guess weird to many. But like, well, my mind is just some times different ya know.
I miss the times, when my mind was free, nothing to really worry about, but, I seem to feed more on the worry now, I like to stuff myself like crazy with the problems of others and of the things, that I cannot physically have.
My heart likes to play games with my mind, shoot they argue so damn much, it's like time is none, time is invisible to them, so invisible that they will go on and on about the same idealistic crap that will get me well, nowhere, but entrapped inside a circle combined with love and chaos.
They don't fight with swords, guns, or anything like that, they just force me to do things, tugging at me like a rope endlessly.
Sometimes I wish my mind would just like, go to sleep when it needs to, and wake up when it's needed.
Sometimes I wish my mind and heart could just get along, sometimes I wish she was here, at times, I wish I could sleep, eat right, think right, and just well, live right. But a wish is just a wish, just like a thought is just a thought, and unless something actually happens, they're both useless.
So, what's really the use of wishing for happiness then? Especially when my mind and heart just wanna like, fight.....
