Comments : I See What No One Else Sees...

  • 17 years ago

    by Romantic Lover

    Brighter than the moonlight
    On the crimson sea,
    Your face shines.
    Your touch like a parade
    On my skin,
    Like a party for two
    -just you and me-
    Come on baby we're
    Going to make it through.

    Such beautiful words. Very nice.

  • 17 years ago

    by Corinne

    Very good. There were a few word choices that you "might" want to reconsider. I'm going to be very picky - Feel free to ignore me ;-)
    "Crimson sea" makes one think more of the sun going down, not the moon shining on the water. And "saccharine" is a fake sweetner - When we say something is saccharine, we mean overly sweet, overly sentimental - but not in a good way.

  • 17 years ago

    by Milton

    I dunno how you got to be so good at writing feelings down but you did. heh. really nice poem. good stuff.

  • 17 years ago

    by Weeping Wolf

    Great,great job! this poem had both elegance and spice, from the angelic images to the sexy descriptions of this boy you love, it really shows how you feel about him, i sure hope you let him read all these, there great!